A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it hurts more in the daytime
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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