I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
