I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
