4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
