So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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