Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
