you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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