ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
