I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
