I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
