I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
