if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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