i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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