i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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