you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She tied me up with her honor cords...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize