I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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