if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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