so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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