how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
