Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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