dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
