I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
