I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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