I cannot find my penis.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am available for nakedness
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