sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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