I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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