If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
