i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
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You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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