i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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