Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
