If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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