sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
