To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
