I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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