You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
