Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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