I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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