I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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