Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
