how can u be prego again
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
