I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize