he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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