marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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