Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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