My pussy is not your playground.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
