Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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