dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
