So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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