I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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