The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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