soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
