Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
