Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
