I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize