I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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