Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
