Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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