i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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