shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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